I find it funny how I get inspired to write in the middle of the night. Lol. When your muse hits, it hits- am I right? No- this isn’t a post about her ~dramatic~ NYC relationships (Aidan…Big… ugh let’s chat). But the Queen of Manhattan Journalism did trigger some thoughts.

So I’m drinking wine, watching Sex And The City,

when Carrie says something that resonates with me (and with plenty of others too, I would imagine). She mentions something along the lines of it not being easy to find a partner- because men don’t want to be in relationships- and all I could think is, “Fuck yes- preach!” Mind you- this is an episode that was filmed 16 years ago. Characters in the episode continue to blame Carrie, along with Charlotte and Miranda, that they aren’t trying hard enough or putting themselves out there enough.

WTF?

For starters- it’s crazy how this very topic is still relevant sixteen years later. You all really don’t understand how often I get asked why I’m still single (queue awkward chuckle)… I’m not kidding- as if it’s a personal choice. Older adults tend to think it’s the girl’s choice she’s still single- and don’t get me wrong, sometimes, it might be. But plenty of times, a woman is more than willing to start a relationship- and none of the boys (key word: boys) she meets are down to be in one.

It isn’t the same world it was 25-30 years ago. Men don’t want relationships. Hell, a lot of women don’t want relationships. I found it funny how a topic of conversation of an episode from an iconic  TV series that was filmed 16+ years ago was still so, so relevant.

To single women everywhere:

I fucking feel you. My mom (and grandmother… and friends… and coworkers) harasses me to go on dates. My friends all have boyfriends. Trust me, I know how you feel. And for fuck’s sake: this isn’t a pity party. As much as I would love to be in a happy, loving relationship- I promise I’m more than OK without one. No one needs someone else to be happy (and if you do, please go see a therapist).

What’s my message? It isn’t as easy to find a boyfriend as it was 30 years ago. Unfortunately, the world we live in has groomed most men to think they can have the benefits of a relationship without actually committing to one. BS, right? Moral of the story? Don’t ask your daughter, younger sister, co-worker (etc.) why she’s still single. News flash: it’s really annoying.

To my readers who relate: I’m right here with you. Don’t let anyone irritate you to the point that it ruins your day, and don’t ever think you’re single because something’s wrong with you. You’re not going to settle for whoever, and no one expects you to. Are Carrie and Big relationship goals? Yeah, kind of… in a Kourtney-and-Scott kind of way. Is a Carrie and Big relationship ideal for the average, nonfictional person? I’ll leave that up to your discretion. To each, her own.

Xoxo,

Nicki G

P.S. Better single than a psycho, jealous, Samantha Jones… Right?