If you know me, you know I get the worst hangovers. Literally hours over the toilet not even being able to hold down a few sips of Gatorade. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe I did something really bad in a past life. So here I am, stuck suffering from horrible hangovers even if I only have a few beers.

I figured I’d make a series of my hangovers so other people can laugh at my misery, cause what’s better than laughing at other people’s problems (that sounds so bitchy, but  it’s so true)? So here’s chronicle I- and it’s perfect, ’cause I’m not dying.

I saw my husband (Drake) at Story Nightclub last night, so needless to say, I was drinking with friends & having a great time. I ended up alone, doing my own thing, of course, because NG (see: drunk alter ego) loves to wander. Before I knew it, I was getting phone calls from my friends telling me they were outside. When did it become 4 a.m.? I obviously had no idea how to leave this club, so I was asking every bouncer for directions and finally convinced one to walk me out and help me find my friends. Once found, we Ubered home and went to not one, but TWO different McDonald’s to find out they were closed. We ended up at Taco Bell (gross) and the only thing I could eat was cinnamon twists because #vegan. Side-note: I asked if they had hash-browns and the cashier was very confused. I also stuck my entire body out the window and yelled while ordering my Baja Blast Freeze. Idk. I was excited.

So here I am today, one Baja Blast Freeze and order of cinnamon twists later. I slept a good four hours before waking up starving and with my full face of makeup. I drove my ass to Chipotle with my friends to try and settle my eager stomach and ate a good seven bites before wanting to throw up (I didn’t, though, so yay me).

Today’s chapter isn’t bad, I’m just extremely exhausted. Consider this a warm up for what’s to come. My mom’s probably pissed. Sorry. Whatever. Enjoy following my hangover chronicles and feel free to laugh.

Love, your favorite Hangover Queen,

Nicki G.

P.S. Follow me on Twitter for live-action tweets of my nights. They’re half annoying, half hilarious. @nicki_gee. And if you’re lucky enough to have me on Snapchat, sorry.